Issue #201 Issue #202 Issue #203 Issue #204 Issue #205 Issue #206 Issue #207 Issue #208 Issue #209 Issue #210 Issue #211 Issue #212 Issue #213 Issue #214 Issue #215 Issue #216 Issue #217 Issue #218 Issue #219

 

# 208
"The Return of the Monster Society of Evil":
By Mikel Midnight

---

Bulletman, Bulletgirl, and Slug the Bulletdog shoot through the air, scattering birds in their wake. They arrive at San Francisco, hovering over Fort Scott. "Do you see anything, Jim?" she says.

He shakes his head and gives Slug a pat, who licks his hand affectionately. "Susan, it's nearly impossible through all this fog. I hope our information was correct about the attack ... and that we're not too late."

Bulletgirl tilts her head curiously. "This woman who supplied the information, Luna White, she's trustworthy?"

Bulletman sighs. "She often seems to have her own agenda, but she's been helpful to us in the past, and seems to have some government contacts. So yes, I would say she's trustworthy."

Slug the Bulletdog yips, and the three descend to ground level. They see the Presidio surrounded by armed guardsmen. The soldiers point at them in the sky, cheering as they arrive and quickly are led to the officer in command.

"Don Winslow," the man introduces himself. "They've been loading heavy artillery onto their escape vessel and they've also been fighting off our forces. We're only lucky the Fort staff were able to get the word out, before the invaders cut off communications."

Bulletman strokes his chin thoughtfully. "It sounds like you did the right thing in calling us. Come on kids," he says to Bulletgirl and Slug, "Let's take a look."

The three of them rise up after the ground, then soar into the Presidio, carrying out a quick search pattern until they arrive at the dock where the loading is taking place. The men assembled at the dock with the equipment are grotesque and familiar to the trio of heroes.

Mr. Banjo, a fat white man wearing a green suit and a large yellow straw hat; with his round face he looks like W.C. Fields on steroids.

Evil Eye, a large green monster with fangs. His left eye is shut, but his large, right eye glares hypnotically from across the room.

Oliver, a giant orange octopus with a face.

Herkimer, a man with a lean, lithe build. He moves with an almost reptilian grace, which is perhaps appropriate given that he is a crocodile-headed man. He is wearing an elegantly tailored grey suit, and carrying a gun.

Bulletgirl scans the group. "Oh my," she says, "the Monster Society of Evil. I thought you were all scattered and gone after the Black Pearl case. Didn't your defeat by the Squadron of Justice teach you anything?"

Evil Eye is tinkering with the circuit box on the interior wall of the warehouse from which they are unloading equipment. "Yes," it says, "It taught us to be cleverer."

Mr. Banjo menacingly wields his banjo, laughing as Evil Eye throws a switch, securing a cage around the group.

Bulletdog barks frantically, while Bulletman strains at the bars. "You don't think you'll get away with this, do you?"

Evil Eye smiles, linking a wire from its arm into the power system. "I'm going to set loose our 'friend'..." It reaches over to its artificial arm with its human one, activating a switch.

A surge of electricity courses through the wall, directed at a large box in the corner. An electronic lock atop the box explodes, and one of the sides is promptly knocked down from inside by a powerful boot. Evil Eye breaks free of the circuit, also cutting the prisoner loose.

Exiting the remains of the box is a tall, well-built man with a blond crew-cut, sporting a monocle. His face is handsome yet authoritative, and marked with a Heidelberg dueling scar. His breeches and tight-fitting shirt, with its gold epaulets and a high crimson military collar, are dark green. Boots, gloves, and cape are a contrasting crimson. A swastika is emblazoned across his chest, enclosed within a black circle.

"Captain Nazi," hisses Bulletman.

The blond man grins. "Yes, of course," he says. "Did you really think the feeble armaments they have here are sufficient to interest the Monster Society of Evil? After I had been captured by the O.S.S. they held me here until I could be transferred to a more secure facility. Fortunately I had not been forgotten."

Bulletman strains at the bars without success. Bulletgirl scowls at the villain, "You don't really think you'll get away with this, do you?"

Captain Nazi says, "I think you're in no position to have a say in the matter. And now that I have you, I admit I've always wondered what made you tick." He smiles sadistically, balancing a scalpel on his finger.

Bulletman stops struggling, and just shakes his head at the gesture. "That's for me to know, not for you to find out. Fortunately, you're not the only person here with friends." He looks up as a hole appears in the ceiling; soon, several figures and an automobile are seen through this hole.

Master Man arrives pushing the automobile. He lets go of the automobile, cursing its loss, and leaps towards the battle scene, followed by Commando Yank, Radar, and Sergeant Twilight who were all along for the ride.

Oliver RAHRRRRS!!!!

Herkimer unholsters his deadly gun.

Master Man starts running very fast around the room visiting the vicinity of several of the villains, preparing to attack. He checks to see which villains are still up and about, looking up at Oliver and then down at Mr. Banjo.

Oliver reaches out, and a blast of electricity arcs towards the caged group of heroes as he breaks one of the ceiling bulbs with one huge tentacle. Bulletdog, suspended in air, is unaffected, but the grounded Bulletman and Bulletgirl are knocked unconscious.

Master Man tears open the bars of the cage and, after ensuring the humans are not harmed, says with a gracious bow, "After you, Bulletdog." The animal soars towards Mr. Banjo, seating himself on the eponymous musical instrument.

Mr. Banjo kicks at the seated Bulletdog on his banjo, and takes a mighty swing .

Radar gestures hypnotically at the giant octopus. Using his telepathic abilities, he creates the illusion around the monster that it is in the ocean of its youth. Confused and pacified, Oliver pauses in the battle.

Captain Nazi throws his scalpel at Commando Yank's head with a scream. He looks towards the waking Bulletman and Bulletgirl, "Look Oliver, you need to do a better job of killing your victims..."

Oliver roarrrrrs! He has seen through the illusion, and is mad. He turns on Radar. He zaps the deck beside Radar, causing it to explode with a furious noise.

Herkimer leaps at Sergeant Twilight, his gun firing a burning trail.

Commando Yank raises his rifle in the air, the handle deflecting the thrown scalpel. He fires at Captain Nazi. Captain Nazi ducks, easily grabbing the two bullets out of the air. "AH!! New toys...!" He smiles evilly. "That your best shot, boy?" and leaps at Commando Yank, a snarl etched on his face. Captain Nazi lands on Commando Yank with a vicious speed, and wraps one of his hands around his neck, pulling tight. "Oh, if only I'd brought my garrote..."

Sergeant Twilight dives frantically, and the running Herkimer tumbles over him. Herkimer grumbles, rising and chasing Sergeant Twilight.

Mr. Banjo leaps and lands on Bulletdog, and struggles again for his banjo. As the canine floats out of reach, Mr. Banjo stops struggling for a moment and looks up, swearing. "Arrgh! You stupid mutt...!" The two play tugowar as Bulletdog attempts to pull the banjo up into the air.

Evil Eye looks around confused as its wires are torn out from the circuit box it's hooked into. It spots Master Man, just in time to see the latter's arm wires enter an electrical circuit. The monster shakes its head, then 'a-ha'ing! Its artificial eye turns red. It shakes with energy, a vent on its back spewing out coolant. Herkimer is almost upon Sergeant Twilight as Oliver blasts him, KO'ing both. Herkimer stirs, looking up at the arriving heroes, then lapses back into unconsciousness.

Captain Nazi chokes Commando Yank into unconsciousness, and sadistically continues. Suddenly he flies off Commando Yank, KO'd instantly by the fury of his bolt of electricity from the randomly firing octopus.

Master Man leaps up and attempts to slam into Oliver' face at top speed. "You look like a big problem here." His appearance at Oliver's side surprises the orange octopus. Oliver lands with a thud, KO'd by Master Man...

Bulletman and Bulletgirl retrieve Master Man's lost automobile, and hurls it towards Evil Eye. The monster gets a face full of coolant, as the automobile crashes through the wall, and it doubles over, falling to the ground after all the attack.

Master Man lands on the ground and looks at Mr. Banjo. He says "That takes care of that problem. Do you want to give up now? You'd think that surrounded and hanging from your banjo in mid-air you'd be smart enough to give up."

Mr. Banjo hangs on to the floating banjo. "I ain't giving this up again!"

Master Man looks over to Bulletman, "What's his name anyway?" He then reaches out and picks up Mr. Banjo, making him open his grip on the banjo. "You're not going anywhere after you tried to kill the Squadron." He puts the Mr. Banjo in a full-nelson hold, and then blinks as Mr. Banjo disappears from within his grasp, followed by the other members of the NMonster Society of Evil.

Bulletgirl takes off to search the prison, soon flying back in from outside. "They're gone and their cars are totaled. I don't think they want us following. Our next move, Bulletman?"

Bulletman helps the dazed Commando Yank and Sergeant Twilight to their feet. "We'll continue to search the grounds and look for clues, of course. Not that I expect to find anything. This operation was too well planned. They won this battle ... but we'll win the war."