Issue #14 FDC presents "Send in the Clowns" by Clay and Cliff Arceneaux

Spotlights glare down on wrestling ring, an enthusiastic crowd cheering on all sides. Jim Gordon stands in the center, wearing a referee's uniform. The two combatants are unusually dressed even by wrestling standards. There stands the Batman, not dressed in his current all black costume, but in a combination on his first black and grey one, the dark blue and light grey he wore for years, and the current suit. Elements of each shift from one to another as he moves. His opponent is a stark contrast to him on many levels. The Joker's traditional purple suit and bright orange shirt clash perfectly with the Batman's grim look. And unlike the Batman's shifting appearance, the Joker remains constant. A bell rings and Batman takes a fighting stance. The Joker laughs and pirouettes around the ring. Finally Joker reaches into his coat and produces a rubber chicken, which he immediately throws at Batman. Batman easily dodges the missile, which continues past him into the crowd where it explodes. Ignoring the screams of pain Batman lungs for Joker. Joker's lapel flower fires a stream of acid, which Batman also avoids. This too goes into the crowd, and more cries of agony are heard. This continues for several minutes, Joker launching some attack at Batman, Batman evading the attack, only to have it go out of the ring and into the crowd. Batman becomes aware that the crowd is no longer cheering, but moaning and screaming in agony. He looks around the auditorium and sees the dead and dying citizens of Gotham, some of which he recognizes. There, sitting on the front row slumps Barbara Gordon, garbed in her old Batgirl costume, a bleeding bullet wound in her stomach. Beside her sits the battered body of Jason Todd. Tim Drake, the Todd's successor as Robin, sits one seat down next to Alfred. Dick Grayson is no where to be found. Batman stands in shocked horror at the scene around him. And over it all, the Harlequin of Hate's maniacal laughter echoes! Movement seen in the corner of his eye causes Batman to instinctively drop to the floor. A model jumbo jet sails overhead and to Batman's horror into the crowd where it explodes spectacularly! A roar of pure rage erupts from the Caped Crusader as he hammers the Joker with blow after punishing blow! "This…{POW!} Has… {CRUNCH!} To Stop… {CRACK!} NOW!{THUD!}" Batman yells as he pummels the Joker. Finally he grabs Joker by the lapels and pins him to the turnbuckle. "Do you understand me maniac!! The pain, the death. It Ends Now!!!" "But Batsy, this would have been over ages ago…" Joker grins darkly. "if you'd just hold still!" The Clown Prince of Crime throws his head back in laughter as a stunned Dark Knight stumbles back. Jim Gordon grabs his shoulder. "Master Bruce!" Wait. Jim doesn't call me that. "Master Bruce, Please, sir!" Batman awoke with a start. He was still seated in front of the Bat-computer where he'd been working the night before. His butler, Alfred stands over him gently shaking Batman's shoulder. "I hate dreams," he thinks to himself as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. "Sorry to wake you Master Bruce, but I'm afraid there's something on the television you simply must see." At the touch of a button, the large screen changes to show a young reporter standing shivering in front of a fast food restaurant. "… and police are still not commenting on whether the gunman responsible for the this early morning shooting is in fact the Joker as has been reported by surviving witnesses." Batman snaps fully awake, his mind racing. "When did this happen?" Batman asks pulling his cowl back over his head. "A little over a half an hour ago by the news reports, sir. They were just getting their reporter to the scene when I came to wake you." Alfred shakes his head as he looks at the screen. "It's the McDowell's on…" "I recognize the location." Batman rises from his chair and heads towards the vehicle bay. "I'll get the details from the police band in route." "Sir? Just a moment if you would." Batman turns to see Alfred has produced a small serving tray from somewhere. On it are a few muffins and a steaming cup of coffee. Batman shakes his head and allows himself a small chuckle. He takes the cup of coffee in one hand and pops one of the muffins in his mouth. By the time he's rolling the Bat-cycle out, he's finishing the last of the coffee. And ever dutifully, Alfred is there to take the cup. "I'll be in touch." Batman says as the cycle roars to life and speeds up the gangway and out of the cave. "Godspeed, sir." Alfred looks down the passage way as the tail light fades from view. "And please be careful." Finishing yet another in what seemed an endless parade of cups of coffee, a bleary eyed James Gordon looks over the crime scene. Bright yellow fluttering crime scene taped decorates the bullet riddled fast food restaurant. He looks for the officer in charge, one of his best. Jim hears her shouting orders to keep the mobbing Gotham press corps out of the restaurant. Despite her small size and attractive looks, no one argued with Detective Montoya when she used that tone of voice. "Trouble, Detective?" Gordon asks as he crossed over to her. "No more than usual this morning, Commissioner." Montoya replies, shooting an angry look at reporters and photographers still angling to get inside McDowell's. "Are you feeling alright, sir? You look a little strung out. If you don't mind me saying so." "I'm fine, Detective. Just a little sleep deprived." Gordon unbuttoned his heavy overcoat in the relative warmth of the restaurant. "It's too cold a morning for all this. Still, what have you got for me?" "Well sir, we've got four dead and eleven wounded, luckily our perp wasn't aiming at anyone in particular when he opened fire." Montoya leads the Commissioner in a tour of the scene as she speaks. "According to surviving witnesses, our boy strolled in, opened fire, and then tried to raid the cash registers. All without saying a word. Of course, the gunman didn't plan this job too well, because there was a GPD squad car sitting at the drive through window when he opened fire. Some gun play ensued, and the assailant was shot by the officers over here. They got two clean shots to the chest, one to the head, and about two clips worth into the rest of him." "I'm not lucky enough to think it was really him, am I?" the Commissioner looks at the perpetrator's chalk outline on the floor. "No sir." The Detective leads her Commissioner over to a body bag and unzips it. Lying there is a grinning white face with bright green hair, all matted and streaked with blood. But the face was shaped wrong to be the Joker's, too wide. And to confirm what Jim already knew, Detective Montoya ran two gloved fingers down the body's cheek. She left two flesh colored streaks on the dead gunman's face and raises her two now white fingers to Gordon. "A fake." Gordon says dryly. "This makes the second faux Joker type crime in less than twelve hours. But what does it mean." "I'm not sure." A gravely, but familiar voice sounded from behind them. "But we will find out." The two startled officers turn to see what they thought was a fellow policeman dressed in his heavy winter uniform like everyone else. But the "officer" discards his parka and hat to reveal the familiar cowl of the Batman. "Good Morning to you too." Jim sighed with relief. "I take it you heard the detective's report?" "Every word." Batman continues to remove the last of his disguise as he moves to examine the body. "How long ago was this man shot?" "A little over an hour ago." Montoya answers. "And his face is still smiling." Batman notes aloud. "And you say it took almost 30 rounds to stop him?" "Yes, but…" Montoya pauses, feeling suddenly uncomfortable as Batman looks at her so intently. "But according to the officers… a lot of that was panic fire on their part." "Understandable, considering who they thought they were facing." Batman replies emotionlessly. "Still, I'm positive an analysis of the victim's blood would reveal the same chemical we found in those gang members last night.*" (it happened last issue,check it out!) "Heard about that." Montoya shakes her head. "On the morning news as I was getting ready for my shift, it was all over the radio. A gang of street hoods using Joker style weapons." "I would have preferred that stayed quiet until we knew something more." Gordon sighs. "But unfortunately it was a fairly public event." There is an awkward moment of silence as the officer's watch Batman do a quick examination of the body. "Batman." Montoya finally speaks. "Can I ask you something?" Batman does not respond except to briefly make eye contact with the dark haired police woman. "Why the disguise?" Montoya continues. "Why did you sneak in if you knew we were going to let you in on our investigation?" "Do you see the media circus out there?" Batman takes a swab of makeup from the bodies face and secrets it on his belt. "The last thing they need to see is me swooping down on to the scene. Better they never knew I was… " Batman is interrupted by a squawk from Montoya's police radio. All eyes snap to attention as they wait for the detective to respond. "This is Montoya." She says into her radio. "I've got the Commissioner with me. Please repeat." Montoya hold the receiver to her ear to better understand the distorted voice on the other end. Gordon looks over at Batman, who is placing a finger to his own ear and manipulating something on his belt. A sharp intact of air on Montoya's part focuses the Commissioner's attention back on the young officer. "Sir, it's happening again. Across town. Another Joker is reportedly holding up a liquor store." Montoya blurts out. "Christ! Let's get moving." Gordon heads for the door. "Detective, you're with me, and you're driving!" "But sir what about…" Montoya turns to look where the Dark Knight had been, but sees nothing. "With any luck, he'll beat us there." Gordon shivers as the cold air from the outside whips through the door he's holding open. "Let's go!" Montoya rushes to join her superior as they make their way through the cold morning air past the shouting reports to the waiting squad car. With lights flashing and sirens blaring, they race off to the latest Joker sighting. Jim Gordon is on the radio, ordering up support and trying to get more details. From the corner of his eye, he sees a dark winged shadow swooping across the Gotham skyline. Batman soars over Gotham on his swing lines, heading for where the police radio said the Joker was robbing a liquor store. Why his old foe would attempt such a mundane crime, especially in broad daylight, makes no sense to him. But little this madman had done over the years ever has. Broad daylight. The Caped Crusader notes to himself how different the city looks from up here this time of day. He didn't do much rooftop swinging during the day light hours anymore. He aims his grappling device at another roof top. For a moment his eyes fail to focus and though it lasts barely a second, when his vision clears the headache that had started the night before returns with a vengeance. "This I do not need right now." Batman thinks to himself. "I'm not used to operating in daylight like this anymore. That must be what's causing this headache. That or simple lack of sleep." A touch of a button and the device in his hand fires a grappling line between the buildings. Effortlessly Batman swings out on the line until he's reached high upon the apex of his swing. Another button is pushed on the small gadget and the line detaches itself form the building and near instantly retracts back into the device. Flipping in mid air as he free falls for a moment, the Dark Knight fires the line again at another building and uses the momentum of his fall to swing even faster than before. "I need to clear these cobwebs and fast." Batman continues. "If it is the Joker I'll be facing and not another stand in, I'll need to be on my toes!" He lands on a roof top, across the street from the liquor store in question. Pulling a pair of micro-binoculars from his wondrous utility belt, Batman scans the store front. There are a few police cars forming a parameter out front. Inside he can see a flurry of a purple coat, maybe a flash of white and green, but nothing that would tell him if he were facing the real Joker or another copy. A quick check of the police band on his cowl radio revealed that "Joker" was holding the store clerk hostage and demanding that the police back off. Batman set his jaw. No more innocents were dying today over this. Not if he had anything to say about it. Swooping down on his swing line, Batman crashes through the store's plate glass window. Before the clown faced robber could bring his weapon to bear the gun is knocked from his hand by a Batarang that seems to erupt from the billowing folds of Batman's black cape. Lunging forward, the Dark Knight smashes his green haired opponent against the wall. When the "Joker" tries to resist and fight back, Batman delivers a wicked right fist to the villain's jaw. As the gunman slumps to the floor, dazed but not unconscious, Batman notices the white makeup smeared across his knuckles where his hand had struck the fallen clown. Another copy. Looking down Batman sees that this one wasn't even that good a likeness to his harlequin foe. This man is much older and heavier. And this fellow has a mustache that was simply covered with the same pancake makeup that painted the rest of his face a ghoulish white. As the Dark Knight stands there for a moment, almost shaking with frustration he hears the approaching policemen. He would only have a few scant seconds to check the body for clues himself before this store will be filled with people., possibly accidentally destroying the one clue that solve this whole case. But before Batman can begin his hurried investigation, he hears a low moan from behind him and feels a tug at his cape. Turning, Batman sees the store clerk lying on the floor clutching his chest in one hand and Batman's cape in the other. Stooping to aid the false Joker's victim, Batman chides himself for forgetting to make sure the man was okay in the first place. A quick examination reveals no sign of an outward wound, but judging from what symptoms he saw it is clear the balding clerk is having a heart attack. "Get some paramedics in here for this man Now!" Batman orders the incoming police officers. "Batman! Behind you!" One of cops cries. The Caped Crusader spins around to see the fallen imposter is not as incapacitated as he thought and is trying to slink to the back of the store. With fluid grace and near impossible speed Batman whirls into action again. Before anyone in the room is fully aware of what is happening Batman has caught the imposter in an arm lock and has pinned the clown against one of the liquor store's glass freezer doors so hard it cracks. "I am only going to ask this once." Batman growls. "Where is the Joker?" "The boss… heh, heh, heh…" The captured clown giggled out. "The bu… bah bah ha ha ha oss hee heeh hee hee hee needs some money hee hee hee hee hee hee hee HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHUHAAAA!" "Wrong answer." Batman smashes his prey hard into the cracking glass. But all he gets is more hysterical laughter from the former gunman. Not that this stops Batman from applying even more pressure. "Um, Batman? Sir?" An officer asks with growing concern in his voice. "I….don't you think he's had enough, sir?" Batman shoots the officer an angry glare that is enough to make the cop take a step back way from the Dark Knight. But Batman's expression softens a touch after a few moments, and with an angry shove he pushes the battered clown staggering toward the assembled police officers. They immediately handcuff the phony Joker and walk him outside to a waiting squad car. The scene outside erupts into a sea of camera flashes and TV lights as the Gotham media all scramble for pictures of this morning's second "Joker". The EMT's (Emergency Medical Technicians) have to fight their way through the thronging reporters to get to the fallen shop clerk. Batman makes his way outside as well as Gotham's finest try and get control of the crowd outside once more. The combination of the press and stepping back into the morning sunlight was not helping Batman's headache one bit. He reached under his cape for the grappler attached to his belt. He's raising his hand to fire the line that will carry him sky ward when Batman sees Commissioner Gordon arrive. Their eyes meet and the looks of frustration that passes between them tells Gordon all he needs to know. Another imposter. Four hours and three more imposters later, the man dubbed the World's Greatest Detective sits before another large computer screen, trying to piece together what was happening. On the screen in front of him were various windows showing chemical analysis, costume shop listing, criminal rap sheets, and shipping schedules. As they had the night before, the words were all starting to run together. And his headache is getting worse, not better. Again he is forced to lean forward and rubs his eyes to try and ease the pain. The computer's beep snapped him back to attention. There was a call coming in for him. Switching the machine to video phone mode, Batman is surprised to see the face of his young partner, Tim Drake, smiling back at him. Tim is finishing up putting on the costume he wears as Robin "Tim?" Batman asks. "What are you doing in the cave at this hour? It's only a little after twelve noon." "Yeah well they let every body out of school early because of all this Joker craziness." Tim buckles his utility belt and sits down in front of the main Batcave computer with a slight chuckle. "Only in Gotham, right? Anyway I thought I'd come over and see how things were going and Alfred told me you are working out of the backup cave under the Wayne building." "With the frequency of these imposters attacks, it made more sense to stay here in town than to run back to the mansion." Batman replies. "Got anything so far?" Robin inquires. "I've run every test and trace I can think of," Batman shakes his head in disgust. "but I aside from determining that we're dealing with the same Joker venom extract in the imposters as that gang was on last night, I haven't been able to generate a solid lead to either where the Joker is or what he's up to. It's all been very… " "Frustrating! That's what it is, dad-blasted frustrating." Jim Gordon slams his office phone down. "None of the Jokers captured this morning can talk yet I take it?" Detective Montoya asks from her seat across the desk from the fuming Police Commissioner. "No, blast it." Gordon drinks the last of his coffee. Standing up, he crosses the room to get himself another cup, but finds the pot empty. "Blast it all! If it isn't one thing around here it's another!" "Sir, I don't mean to overstep here, but you just finished your third pot since I came on duty. " Montoya's brow furrows. "Don't you think you've had enough, sir?" "Heh. Now you sound like my Sarah,. Detective, on a day like this it's either the coffee or I go back to smoking. And even though the latter would mean certain death at Sarah's hand, right now it's looking awfully attractive." Jim Gordon allows himself a brief smile, before turning back to his detective. "Where you able to get anything from Arkham?" "Not much." Montoya watches as Gordon prepares yet another pot of coffee. She smiles to herself as she continues. "I spoke with a Dr. Quinzel. She did the latest psyche profile on the Joker before his last escape. She wasn't much help. Just the usual line about his being a brilliant but psychotic killer with a need for attention. Nothing that helps make sense of these attacks. She did say it was unusual for the Joker to use look-alikes, considering his massive ego." "Huh. Tell me something I didn't already know." Jim fiddles with the coffee maker a little more to make sure it's working, then returns to his desk. "But if it's attention the clown wants, he's certainly got it. He may be using imposters, but every one of these little fiascoes has been very, very public. All total we've had two holdups turn hostage situations, one fast food restaurant shot up at morning rush, an attempt to rob an ATM machine in the middle of the shopping mall, and a drive by shooting in front of city hall. And the press has been all over every one of these." "What about the gang war last night?" Montoya asks. "How does that fit?" "I'm not sure. I do know that it was pretty public as well. It was all over the morning papers." Jim shakes his head in disgust. "Speaking of which, has Bulloch made it in yet? I put in a call for him go ahead and come in here over an hour ago." "I certainly haven't seen him." Montoya says coldly. "Look, Detective," Commissioner Gordon points his finger at Montoya. "I don't know what's going on between you two, why all of a sudden you both want to be reassigned to complete opposite shifts, but you are the best detectives I have and I need both of you in on this investigation. And I expect both of you to behave like professionals. Is that clear?" "Yes, sir." Montoya replies even colder. "I understand, sir. Just don't expect me to like it." "Fine. Whatever." Jim leans back in his chair. "I just wish I were better at getting these jokes of his." "Jokes?" Batman looks quizzically at the image of his partner. "Yeah, you know." Robin continues. "You told me yourself that every one of the Joker's schemes has some kind of sick joke to it. I just wondered if you'd figured this one out yet." "Hmm." Batman leans back into his chair, his fingers interlaced below his chin with his index fingers resting beneath his nose. "Aside from generally making a fool of me watching me race around Gotham all morning, and spreading Gordon's officers pretty thinly I can't say I get this one yet either. My guess is that this is all a prelude to something larger. Probably scheduled around late afternoon. No later than 6PM." "6:00? Why then?" Robin asks. "Because everything he's done so far has been aimed around getting increasing media coverage." Batman replies. "The gang fight last night was all over the morning editions and newscasts. By around 7AM then national morning news programs start, and so did the first of the imposters. They continued until just before noon. Now the noon news casts are all awash in this mornings attacks. If I'm right, the next attack will be bigger, more grandiose, and just in time to make the evening news." "So… What?" Robin looks slightly confused. "The joke is one the media this time?" "The media?" Jim Gordon scratches his chin. "That a possibility. He certainly seems to be playing to them this time by being so public with things. But if it's attention he wants, why use imposters? I tell you I hate this clown, I really do." "No love lost for that freak over here either." Harvey Bulloch enters the Commissioner's office, looking more disheveled than usual. Montoya is clearly not happy to see him. "I love gettin' my beauty sleep cut in half on account a him." "I wish I didn't have to wake you either, Harv, but I need you on this one. By the way where have you been? We called you over an hour ago." The coffee machine makes the anticipated gurgling noise indicating the latest pot is done, much to Gordon's delight. "Finally! Either of you need a cup?" "I'll take one, thanks." Bulloch flops down into a chair next to his former partner. "Yeah, I hate to admit it, but I fell back asleep after you guys called. Probably still be there if one of the news stations hadn't called with one of their nutty phone polls." "Let me guess, the Joker, right?" Gordon hands Harvey a mug of fresh coffee and pours himself one. "Yeah. This one was weird though, pushy too." Harvey drinks deep from his cup. "Kept askin' me which bothered me more the gang fight or the imposter crap from this mornin'. Was it the weapons or the appearance that disturbed you the most? I finally hung up on their pushy weird butts." "Wait a minute, back up there a second Bulloch." Jim Gordon's mind is racing as he sits back at his desk. "They wanted to know which bothered you more, the use of the Joker's weapons, or imposters using his appearance?" "Yeah. So what?" Bulloch looks confused. Montoya isn't following her boss either. "Look, the first case we had someone using the Joker's tools, but they lacked his appearance and didn't use his M.O. . Then we have a rash of crimes where the preps used the Joker's appearance and nothing else. You with me so far?" Gordon waits a moment until both detectives indicate they are following his reasoning. "Now all of these incidents are very public, with full media coverage, working the public into a fit. Now we have some one polling the public about which frightened them the worst? My God, it was right in front of us the whole time, but this whole town is too obsessed with that blasted Joker to see it." "What, Commissioner?" Montoya asks her boss. "You saying it ain't the clown?" Bulloch frowns. "Who else could it be, Commish?" "We need to get a signal to Batman." Gordon is too lost in his own thoughts to respond to his officers. "If he hasn't heard about the polling then he probably wouldn't have made this connection. Blast that Crane, he played right into our own obsessions, which is probably the point." "Batman?" Bulloch shrugs. "I don't know, Commish. It's broad daylight out there. No way for him to see the signal, even if we bounced it off a cloud or somethin'." "There is another option." Jim Gordon thinks to himself. "But it's one I haven't been willing to acknowledge to this point. But considering the circumstances… " "I need you two to leave for a minute." The Commissioner says, his face grim. "I need to make a phone call." Both Bulloch and Montoya exchange confused looks with each other, but both know better than to question their Commissioner's orders when he uses that tone. They exit the Commissioner's office quietly, each trying to figure out for themselves the conclusions their just reached. Inside the office, Jim Gordon stares at his phone for several minutes. He can't believe he's going to go through with this. It's something he's long suspected, but never acted on. Until now. With a heavy sigh he picks up the phone and dials a familiar number. Anxiously he waits for the other end to pick up. After a seeming eternity, a familiar voice comes over the line. "Hi, honey. It's Daddy." Jim replies to his daughters greeting. "Listen sweetheart, I need to ask you a pretty big favor…" "Yes, I understand. Thank you for your time." A man in an ill lighted room hangs up the phone. He sits among about 5 others who are all in various stages of making the same call he just completed. He'd been making that same call over and over again for the last hour. He marked the results from the last caller down on the computer in front of him. Suddenly the man stiffens noticeable at the reflection of his boss appearing in monitor. "How is it going, Mr. Stevens?" The thin man said from behind him. "How are results of phase two coming out?" "Well, Professor," Stevens swallows hard. "They're coming out pretty much as you hypothesized. The Joker's appearance is polling much higher than his weapons." "Excellent!" The thin man exclaims. "It may well be that my original assumptions about the Joker's hold on this city being tied to many peoples latent fear of clowns may actually prove true. Of course we do have another test to run before we can be sure, don't we Stevens?" "Y-Yes Sir." Stevens tries to keep his composure in the face of his terrifying leader. "Oh, I'm sorry, Stevens." The thin man smiles beneath his burlap mask. "I'm disturbing your work. And I very much need this experiment to be successful." "No problem, Professor Crane." Stevens turns back to his screen, thankful his employer was moving on. "Yes, if all goes well, I will finally learn why that pale faced idiot is more feared in this town than me." Prof. Crane grins broadly at the thought. "And then I can finally use that knowledge to truly become the most feared man in Gotham. As well it should be. Me! The Scarecrow! The Undisputed Master of Fear!" To Be Continued… Bat-Signals Hey buddy! Well, I loved Batman #13! This looks like it could be a fantastic Joker story, and I really enjoyed this opening chapter. Not many writers could tell such an excellent tale in such a long issue without boring the reader, but you definitely accomplish that! Keep up the great work, and Keep me on the list! TJB Thanks much, TJ. Glad to know we ain't boring, we'd hate that. "Fantastic Joker story" eh? Well as you know by now, we were throwing you readers for a bit of a loop there. We're glad the misdirection worked. Hang on tight, the ride is just getting warmed up. Send any and all comments, gripes, requests, and insults about this story to: Subject line- Bat-Signals @ miryclay@bellsouth.net Next issue: The Scarecrow's deception kicks into high gear, and Batman is forced to decide whether to capture the villain, or stop his diabolical experiment from reaching its conclusion.