"Tell us the story again, Mother."

Forager, the All-Widow of the Colony, looked up from her food pack to see several her young looking up at her. She jumped from the mound she sat upon, leaving her red helmet there, landing just short of the children. She knelt down and held the hand of the one that spoke, as well as that of the one next to him. "Gather around, and I shall tell you…of how the Colony once was."

The children chittered and hissed amongst each other as they formed a circle around Forager, each sitting upright with their knees bent and feet on the floor. When they had finished, Forager raised her arms in the air. "Once upon a time, the Eternals fought without end. New Genesis, where we live, was bombed over and over again by a man named Darkseid." She threw her arms down, miming one of Apokolips’ battle-machines dropping a bomb. "The Eternals eventually came to peace for a short time. In that time, the Bug began to grow where the bombs had fallen. We were small at first, and died quickly, but over time, we became larger, and quicker, and stronger, and braver. The Eternals didn't like that."

"Why not?" a small voice squeaked.

"The Eternals hated all non-Eternals. They even hated each other."

"That doesn't make any sense." Another child spoke.

"No. No, it doesn't." Forager shook her head. "But that's the way things are. One day, a Bug named Forager
went forth…"

One of the young shrieked excitedly "That's mother!"

Forager gently corrected the girl. "This Bug was another Forager, the for which I was named. He tried to become friends with the Eternals. For a time, it had appeared that he had brought our people respect and trust in the eyes of the Eternals. But it was not to be. He died, and then an Eternal the Bug thought was his friend…killed the entire Colony."*

*See New Gods 1989 #5 - Galactic Gregg

"So how are we here if the Bug all died?"

"He couldn't kill me. He was too afraid." Forager then thought to herself "Afraid of how badly he had hurt me
after our affair, and afraid of what he was becoming, but no need for them to know that."

"Mother's too strong for the Eternals!" a boy shouted with glee.

"I was, but not strong enough. I wandered the caverns where we now live for years, overcome by the sorrow I
felt. I did nothing but weep for what had become of my home, and my people. Then, a month ago, a good man
came to me. He was green and yellow, and he glowed faintly. He told me that he could make the Bug grow
again, within me. I told him that I would do anything to bring back the Bug. So I gave him something, then he
made me stronger, and he made you all grow up inside me. He also gave me this," Forager slid her hands down the white tunic she wore "The outfit of the original Forager, so that I would never forget the lies of the Eternals."

"So now we're all growing up with you, Mother."

Forager nodded. "And much more quickly than I had expected. I'm so proud of you all. Very soon, when you're all grown up, we will kill the Eternal who killed your mother's entire race. And what is that Eternal's name?" She allowed a smile to slip across her lips. She knew his name, of course. The children knew it as well as she did. He was the bogeyman she scared them with all the days of their lives, who threatened to sweep by and kill any Bug that acted naughty. Still, her heart leapt with joy when she heard the children of the union between her and Neron shout his name, with all the anger and bitterness they could muster in their tiny voices.

"Orion!" the children screamed.

===============================================================

And so we take our leave of one kind of Bug and meet another: Irwin Schwab, the Ambush Bug! But what
role does this stranger play in the larger saga of the…

(PS: This issue is a special Cold Armageddon tie-in!- Galactic Gregg)

===============================================================

"Fanfic?" Ambush Bug kicked his heels up onto his desk and leaned back in his chair, pressing his cell phone
closer to his ear. "All you can get me is lousy fanfic?"

"Irwin, baby, what can I say?" Miry Paycheck protested. "You've been blacklisted! Do you know how hard to
get any jobs for an out-of-continuity DC character?"

"I've headlined two mini-series, two specials, my own issue of Secret Origins…"

"I thought that was a split book?"

Ambush Bug sighed. "OK, so I shared it with Rex the Wonder Dog. But we're talking 13 issues with the Ambush Bug name front and center here! I lasted just as long as Heroes Reborn! Couple that with my appearance in Invasion!, not to mention the unauthorized use of my likeness in Kingdom Come and my close personal friendship with the pre-Crisis Superman, and I think I rate better than fanfic!"

"Of course you do, baby! Of course you do! You're a shining star, no matter who you are! But DC just isn't
biting right now. This fanfic stuff'll get you out in the public eye again!" Miry's voice lowered as it took on a
conspiratorial tone "Hey, the guy writing this one once had lunch with…KURT BUSIEK. Huh, huh? Maybe
there's an Astro City issue in the offing if you do this? I say you're four times the draw Loony Leo is, at the very very least."

AB pulled his legs down under the desk, then laid his arm on it as he leaned forward. "Well, what the hell. Barring a double-length special that came out back when flannels around the waist were in, I've basically been here in comic book limbo since '86, and in all that time, the only interesting thing that's really happened was Animal Man's little tear through here in #25 of his own book."

Miry grew excited. "Now that's what I like to hear, baby! Go for the gusto! Live life! Carpe Diem!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Buggy drawled. "So when does this little pseudo-epic get underway?"

"Well, the author's contrived a great entrance for you into the story."

"Yeah," AB snorted. "I'm sure it's just sooooo great. Chances are this guy couldn't even wash Flem or Giffen's
boxers."

"Roll with me, baby. You know that comic book limbo facsimile of your office that you've been chilling in for the entire Clinton administration? Just open the door, walk out, and you'll be back in Metropolis."

"A fanfic Metropolis…"

"Just think of it as…as Earth-F, baby." Miry smarmily reassured his client.

"Earth-F. That's strangely appropriate."

"And why's that, baby?"

"Let's just say this…F you, Paycheck! Goodbye!" Ambush Bug flipped the phone closed and tucked it into the
pocket of the dark blue short sleeved shirt he wore over his green costume. He stood and faced a row of
bookshelves. Upon one shelf rested a small, chubby-faced red-masked doll in a little red costume with a large
red "C" encircled in yellow upon its chest. Two antennae poked up from out of the mask. Ambush Bug took the little doll in his hands and stared at it.

"Well, Cheeks, daddy is going to work now. I'll be back soon." AB held Cheeks up to his ear, listening to a
question that only he could hear. "Yes, I'll bring back McDonald's." Ambush Bug replied. "You stay out of
trouble, all right? Good boy." Ambush Bug placed Cheeks back up on the shelf, then walked to the door. With a slight sigh, AB placed his hand on the door handle, then flung it open…

to see a war zone.

===============================================================

Virman Vundabar's jackboots clicked and squeaked as he strode across the black floor of Orion's sanctum. He stopped just short of the red seat Orion sat upon, forgoing his traditional stiff-armed salute. His arm was sore from writing for hours on end, and his hand still hurt from the punishment Forager had inflicted upon it with her demonic powers*.

*See last issue- Galactic Greggers

"Your report, Vundabar." Orion said, his voice hard as steel.

Vundabar coughed, trying to shake away the physical pain and emotional humiliation he felt. "Yes, sir. Highfather and his entourage's safe return to New Genesis following Ambassador Lightray's inauguration ceremony was confirmed by the New Genesis Embassy's staff. Scott Free reports that all of the power batteries are up…"

Orion's eyebrow arched. "They are?"

"Yes, sir."

Orion's red robe sunk down around his body as he stood. "Your report is ended, Vundabar."

"But sir…I have many more…"

Orion's voice grew harsh. "Your…report…is…ended. If there are any more details I need to know, I will read
you written reports." Vundabar let out a slight yelp as Orion pulled him into the air by his yellow collar. Orion
walked out into the hall of his castle, then turned to the two guards who stood outside his door. "Seal the sanctum until Scott Free arrives. Open the room only for him or myself unless personally notified by me."

One guard bowed his helmeted head. "Yes, sir."

Orion merely said "Good."

"Where are you taking me?!" Vundabar's voice echoed through the hallways as he squirmed, trying to get free of Orion's grip.

"Back to your quarters, Vundabar."

"But…but…"

Orion reached Vundabar's cramped dwellings, then pressed a button on the Mother Box hooked to his belt to
open the cosmi-current barrier that blocked entrance and exit to the door. "Greetings, sir. Shall I open the door?" asked one of Orion's customary two guards, both of whom stood on opposite sides of the door.

"No need." Orion answered as he walked closer to the door.

Vundabar's fists flailed through the air. "Let me go! I need to gather more information!"

"Not until tomorrow, as I recall." Orion pulled the heavy grey metal door open, then threw Vundabar far across the room onto his bunk. "Give your report to me then. If I am not around, report to Scott Free. That is all." Orion slammed the door, and Vundabar heard the familiar hum that indicated he was locked in the room for another day.

Virman pulled himself up, rubbing his back. The bunk was quite stiff, and being tossed onto it by someone with
massive strength, like Orion, didn't do wonders for his already sore body. "Ach! Will this never end?" Vundabar moaned silently.

===============================================================

"What was that?!" Jim Harper bolted upright as a loud boom shook the Pelham Theater. People began to stand and scream.

"I'm not sure, but…" one of his young companions, a 17-year old with short black hair and a golden earring,
looked up at him from his seat.

"I believe now would be a optimal juncture to proceed with our egress." Another young friend of Harper's,
dressed in a purple suit, said while tugging at his spectacles.

A short, scrappy boy with a green cap on his head and a worn orange sweater faced the one with the glasses.
"Egress? What's a bird gotta do wit' runnin' outta a joint, Big Woids?!" Feeling a tap on his shoulder, the kid
wheeled around to see who was responsible. It was a dark-haired youth wearing a light jacket, who proceeded to say "Ha! Shows how much you know, Scrapper! An egress is an exit, not a bird. I'm right, Tommy? Ain't I right? I'm right, I tell you! Learned that in a…"

"Quiet, Gabby!" Tommy, a handsome auburn-haired lad said, just as the theatre's sprinklers kicked in. A
youngster dressed in scuba gear sitting at the end of the row, next to Tommy, leaned over and looked down the row at the entire group, lamenting "Figures we'd have to leave just when Flipper Dipper's natural element, water, enters the picture!"

"Be calm everybody, and exit in an orderly fashion" the red-and-green garbed gentleman on stage called out. He was hanging upside-down, suspended from the ceiling, in chains and a straightjacket, lowering slowly towards a table of 3-foot high metal spikes laid flat atop the floor. He turned his head to stage left. "That means you too!"

Off-stage were a balding dwarf and a strapping man with grey hair. "That kid's gonna be murderized! We gotta
do something Ted!" the dwarf looked up at him as he continued to crank the handle that lowered the chain.

"We'd better do as Shilo says. He's right, and he can take care of himself." Another boom rocked the theater,
causing plaster to cascade off of the ceiling. "Come on, Oberon!" Ted began running down the steps that led out into the seats.

"Ahhhh, for crying out loud!" Oberon looked at Shilo, locked the chain in a fixed position, then called after Ted."Hey, wait up!"

"Good luck, guys." Shilo thought to himself. "And good luck to me. This water's going to make things rough..."
He looked down at the spikes, which were only inches below him, then out into the rapidly thinning audience.
"Under ordinary circumstances, I'd hate to cheat like this, but…" Shilo arced his back up towards his waist and
whispered "Mother Box?"

"Finally remembered me, huh?" an airy female voice whispered back.

"Aw, c'mon, it's not like that! Just think of it this way: Houdini didn't use a Mother Box in his act, did he?"

"No." Mother Box agreed. "But he'd have been a lot better off if he did."

"I've got no time to argue. I don't suppose you could age these chains to the point where they're about as strong as a drink at Brixie's, could you?"

"Considering I am a highly evolved sentient living computer that has never imbibed alcohol…"

Shilo groaned. "I mean, make the damned chains weak!"

"Well, why didn't you say so?"

"I did, but…" Shilo shook his head. "Ah, shoot. Just do it!"

"Nike!" Mother Box wisecracked as she oxidized the chains into flaky rust. Shilo stayed curled up, then
backflipped to a spot just in front of the first row seating. Again, the building shuddered, this time causing the
theater's right wall to slowly cave inward. Still bound in his straightjacket, Shilo Norman looked up at the wall in terror.

===============================================================

Orion entered the Apokoliptian Defence Force Academy after a long walk, made even longer by the fact that
almost every step of the journey, somebody called out to greet him or sing his praises. Swiftly, he entered the
massive transparent doors of the Academy, heading down its corridors with large strides.

Pausing in front of a sealed room, Orion stared and looked at the sign above it, which was currently lit red with
the words "Training Session in Progress". After a brief wait, the sign was extinguished. The moment it was, Orion placed his palm on the smooth metal door that secured the room, causing the door to slide upward rapidly.

The sight that greeted Orion was a number of cadets in the orange armour and winged helmets of New Genesis
Monitors standing and sitting in a massive room that was very nearly the same hue as the cadets' armour. The air was hot and humid. Black square lines of various sizes criss-crossed the walls, and Orion recognized them
immediately as the source of the heat. They were panels that hid laser cannons, cosmi-current projectors, energy lashes, battle robots, and other challenges the headmaster of the Academy threw at his students. The energy output of those devices, combined with the physical exertion of the students, always created an uncomfortable climate in the training room that not even the coolant units could fully disperse until minutes had passed. The headmaster, who always trained with his students both to keep himself in shape and to keep an eye on his charges, stood wiping beads of sweat off of his forehead with his green gloved hand. "Good session everyone!" He called out as he ran his hand back through his mane of black hair. "Let's take a ten minute break to cool down, then meet back here for another round."

"It will take slightly longer than that, I'm afraid, my brother." Orion finally spoke, his gruff voice echoing through
the training room. The black-haired headmaster turned to face him, as did several of the students. "Hail, Scott."

"Hail, Orion!" Scott Free returned the greeting. He walked towards Orion, several of his students following him. "Is this about…?"

"Yes, it is." Orion replied as a cluster of cadets swarmed around him. Reflexively, he took a step back from them.

Scott stepped into the gap that Orion had put between himself and the youths, then raised his hands and his
voice. "Orion and I have some business to attend to. Sessions are adjourned for the rest of the day. Study your
holo-sims and lessons 8-10 tonight. Last person out seals the room!" Some of the students groaned, disappointed not to get the chance to talk to Orion, but Scott knew that his foster brother didn't want to talk to them right now. The Power Battery Project was very important to Orion, and it was obvious to Scott that Orion wanted to finish it off. Scott touched the door, paused for a second while it slid open, then walked out, Orion at his side. They moved quickly into the transpitube, ahead of the others. Within seconds, the tube had zigged and zagged around a network of hyperhalls and deposited the brothers in front of the door of Scott's office. Scott produced a small passcard, sliding it through a cardreader. The light on the small readerbox turned yellow. Scott began punching numbers on a keypad that was on the box.

"I noticed you're not wearing your cape."

Scott nodded. "It's good for show business, but can be a liability in combat, as I learned a few days back."*

*Last issue to us- The Caption King

"So you're leaving the Mister Miracle act behind completely?"

Scott finished typing in the combination for his office, tuning the readerbox's light green and opening one door.
Beyond it lay another. "Well, I'm going to continue to wear the basic bodysuit, and the mask when I go into
actual combat, but the cape's gone. As far as I'm concerned, there's already a great Mister Miracle on Earth. His name's…"

===============================================================

"Shilo?!" Mother Box whined, quite afraid of being nastily bashed into pieces by the wall falling towards her and her creator.

"Aero-discs!" Shilo called out. Like a bolt of lightning, Mother Box sprung into action, morphing the soles of
Shilo's boots into flat pancake-like green discs. "Up!" he cried, zipping up and away from the wall. As he floated away, Shilo twisted and contorted in his straightjacket, which was a heavy, wet mess thanks to the theater's sprinklers, which continued to artificially rain upon him. "I can do it…I can do it…" he thought, summoning all of the physical and mental strength he had developed during years of martial arts training. The straightjacket's fibers began to pull and warp. "I can do it…" With one last focused effort, Shilo pulled his arms apart and tossed the straightjacket aside. Instinctively, he raised his hands and unleashed a power blast, reducing the wall to ash. To the stragglers below, he cried out "Get out of here, and help anyone who may be injured to safety! This place is gonna fall apart any second now!"

Shilo, along with a shallow puddle of water, moved outside through the newly created gaping hole in the wall and saw the streets of Metropolis turned into something out of a surrealist dream. On one side of the street, a man in a lime bodysuit with orange antenna, a blue buttoned shirt, and jeans pulled at the handle of a storefront in vain, screaming "Miry! Let me back in!". In the skies, drab "U"-shaped starships hovered, firing at and missing a winged man who was cutting down the ships with a blazing sword. Police Commissioner Dan Turpin screamed "C'mon, ya goldbricks! Move it!" at SCU cops while firing a tommy gun at a seven-foot-something green bipedal reptile in yellow armour. Oberon was bravely, but somewhat foolishly, pounding at the foot of a huge neanderthal in purple battle gear. Various others fled in terror, getting picked off by monsters like the ones Turpin and Oberon were fighting, or huddling together and taking shelter in the ruins of various buildings.

Down in the subbasement of one of those ruins was Jim, his friend, and the Newsboy Legion: Tommy, Gabby,
Scrapper, Big Words, and Flip.

"Whatta dese crumbums?!" Scrapper fumed.

"I daresay they are extraterrestrial invaders." Big Words said, trying to soothe his fellow Legionnaire.

"Good guess." Jim concurred. "I recognize those ships from the Invasion almost eleven years ago. They're
Khundian battlecruisers."

The young man with the earring looked at Jim. "Do you have your transmuter with you?"

"Of course."

Jim's friend removed a small trapezoid made from space age polymers from his pants pocket. "Then I suggest we use them."

"You've got the right idea." Jim produced an item similar to the teen's. The two turned small yellow knobs that
jutted out from the trapezoids. A faint glow enveloped them. When it ceased, their clothing was transformed, the trapezoids’ molecules having rearranged themselves into the fabric of the new clothes. Jim wore a blue bodysuit with yellow trunks and a yellow helmet, holding a roughly badge-shaped golden shield in his hands. His friend was also dressed in blue, but his costume was vastly different. On his chest, he wore a larger version the same proud stylized "S" triangle that Superman wore. A thick yellow line circled his waist, dipping down midway to form a small "v". From under the yellow line down to the boots, the outfit was red.

"Now you stay here, boys. It isn't much, but it's probably the safest place you can be in right now." Jim, now the Guardian, said.

"Uh, sure…you got it." Tommy said, crossing his fingers behind his back.

"We'll come back after we've sent these aliens packing!" Superboy added. He then gently forced the hatch
leading out of the basement open using his tactile telekinesis and levitated up into the street, while telekinetically
pulling Guardian up onto the surface with him. Within moments, the hatch shut again.

"So what're we gonna do now, huh, huh?" Gabby panicked.

"The most prudent course of action would be to remain here, as Guardian ordered." Big Words said.

"Even with my oxygen tank down here, we'll have to open the hatch and go topside sooner or later, though." Flip countered. "Probably not enough air down here for the five of us to hide for hours, much less days."

"You're right, Flipper, and what's more, if there's a war out there, people are going to need help. Especially the
people that everyone else has forgotten." Tommy added.

Scrapper's eyes went wide. "Ya mean…"

Tommy fixed his gaze on his friends. "Yes, Scrapper. We're going back home, to the Suicide Slum."

===============================================================

"Just one more…" Scott murmured as he picked the old-fashioned lock on the final door to his office. He'd never ever made a key for it, so only somebody with great strength or great lockpicking skills could open it. Of course, both abounded on Apokolips, but the final lock was more for Scott's amusement than actual security reasons anyway. A final click, and the fifth door to Scott's office opened. He made his way inside.

Orion followed him into a medium-sized room covered in posters of Thaddeus Brown, Harry Blackstone, Zatara, and literally dozens of other famed Earth escape artists and illusionists. Scott passed his desk and pulled a lever on his wall, causing a panel disguised as a Penn and Teller poster to slide open, revealing a small square space with a gigantic steel trap jealously guarding a keycard.

"I didn't realise it would be this tedious." Orion muttered.

Scott looked back at him. "Would you rather I leave everything in Virman Vundabar's quarters?"

"Point taken."

Scott gingerly reached at the trap with his thumb and index finger, then suddenly sprung into action and snagged the keycard, the trap's jaws slamming shut a mere fraction of a second after his fingers had secured the card. He reset the trap and the poster, strapped on his Aero-Discs, waved the card over a well-camouflaged scanner on his desk, and then warned Orion "Watch out." Suddenly, a trap door opened beneath the brothers. Orion curled himself into a ball and, after a drop of about 20 feet, spun around to land on his feet. Scott descended after him. They were now in an extremely tiny room, with space for about four adult men and no lighting, save the glow that shone forth from lighted panels at the bottom of two display cases. One contained a mannequin wearing a suit scarlet and azure armour with a bizarre large white helmet; the other, the orange curvy form of Orion's Astro-Harness, which was now shorn of the weapons that allowed Orion to call upon the destructive power of the Astro-Force. Scott punched the correct combinations into the keypads on the outside of each display case, and they slid open.

Orion doffed his robe, revealing a simple red skintight outfit. He dragged the mannequin from the display case
and began the process of stripping it of the armour and dressing himself in it. "What will I find down in the Infinity Pit?" Orion asked Scott as he clamped the armour around his chest.

Scott rubbed his hand against his chin. "Both of the Protonoids I sent down to test the Infinity Armour were lost after they penetrated the initial energy barrier, so I’m not entirely sure."

Orion raised an eyebrow. "Lost?"

"But not destroyed, to the best of my knowledge. Although they have not returned, the Protonoids' Infinity
Armour has continued to transmit Soundpulse identification signals. It is entirely possible that there is another
world or some other kind of solid state beyond the barrier."

"So" Orion slid cobalt metal gauntlets on his wrists "At least the Infinity Armour will hold out, no matter what
happens."

"Yes. Moreover, I've loaded your suit up with every communication device we can think of. You've got a
mini-Holoter projector, Visi-transmitter, Soundpulse, another telepathic lens in addition to the one already
implanted into your Mother Box…there's virtually no way you can lose all contact with me."

"Excellent." Orion hefted the white helmet over his head, placing it gently on his shoulders.

Scott pointed at a bizarre ray gun-like contraption on the white belt on Orion's Infinity Armour. "That's an
Anti-Energizer. When fired, it destroys all ambient natural and artificial energy for several miles around.
Unfortunately, since that also includes the energy source that powers the Anti-Energizer, you'll only have one shot at shutting down the Infinity Pit."

Orion lifted the Anti-Energizer from its holster and examined it. "Will it effect the batteries?"

"Yes, but not unless there’s some energy flowing through them already. For that reason, not to mention the fact
that the natural energy of the Infinity Pit and the energy of the batteries combined would tear Apokolips apart, I’ll have to wait an until after you’ve signaled me to activate all of the batteries. Naturally, you have to contact me right after you knock out the Infinity Pit, or else Apokolips will end up as an oversized snowball."

"I see." Orion replaced the Anti-Energizer.

"Now," Scott continued "Spiritual or otherdimensional energy sources seem to be unaffected by the
Anti-Energizer, so your suit's functions will be fine because they'll be channeling power from your Mother Box,
which is in turn powered by the Source and your own spirit. Your Astro-Harness will also be fine because it uses the Astro-Force for power."

Orion walked up to his old glider. It reflected in the transparent faceplate of his armour's helmet. "I only hope the Astro-Force doesn't use me." Orion was loath to use the Astro-Harness again. For all his urges to return to battle and the ways of war, his more civilized nature was very proud of how far from that path he had strayed. He worried that using the Astro-Force, a force of death and war, would lead him back to the way of the warrior. However, a swift journey on foot through Armagetto in the bulky Infinity Armour was impossible, and Orion had no other training- formal or otherwise- in the use of smaller personal flying devices like Aero-Discs. If he wanted to enter the Infinity Pit without getting bogged down in an attack by the Parademons or other resistance members, the Astro-Harness was the only way.

"Don't worry. Since the Protonoids down there are still intact, I don't think there's anything malevolent down
there that you'll need to defend yourself against. They most likely suffered a systems failure." Scott wryly added
"Unless there's something I don't know about you, you've no programming that can be disrupted."

Orion nodded, then strapped himself onto his Astro-Harness and hovered up off of the floor. "If I'm not back in two days, launch a search. If, after searching for two additional days, you don't find me, assume I'm dead."

"There's very little chance of anything going wrong Orion." Scott tried to reassure his brother. "This will be as
easy as escaping from a locked trunk in shark infested waters with a ball and chain attached to your leg."

"Not all of us are escape artists, Scott." Orion scowled. "Give my regards to Barda. Best of luck holding the
planet together in my absence. Farewell, brother." Orion flew up out of the trap door and to his mission.

===============================================================

"Oh god letmebackinletmebackinLETMEBACKIN!!!" Ambush Bug futilely cried out as he pulled at the door of his locked office. Despite the fact that smoke and flame surrounded him, and lethal bolts of energy were narrowly missing him, he was completely focused on returning to the comic book limbo he had left so hastily. Suddenly, he felt powerful hands grab under his armpits, pulling him from the door and up into the skies. A blast slammed through the office window, which proclaimed "A. Bug Enterprises. Super-Heroes Our Specialty", shattering both the window and the office itself. AB looked down at the pyre rising from the remains of the office, then up at his rescuer, a virtually naked winged man with grey skin and red eyes.

"Who are you?"

"I guess you can call me your guardian angel" the rescuer grinned.

"You can't be my guardian angel. He's a wino who lives in a sewer." Ambush Bug protested.

"I'm Zauriel, formerly of the Eagle Host. Your guardian angel called in sick today and I took his hours."

Ambush Bug rolled his eyes. "Look, leave the humour to me." Suddenly, AB did a double take. "'Humour'? Does this fanfic hack think he's British or something?"

Zauriel stared at Buggy. "What?"

"Never mind. Nice meeting you, Zoobilie Zoo." With a POP, Ambush Bug vanished from Zauriel's grasp, much to the angel's bemusement.

Down in the street, the Guardian launched himself shield-first into the stomach of one of the reptilian invaders.
Stunned by the impact, the massive scaled warrior flew backwards. Guardian expertly rolled into a sitting
position…only to find his target rising to its feet. "You dare threaten a Gordanian, Earther?", it bellowed, towering over him. Then, a bullet hit its shoulder. Green blood oozed from the hole. A hail of bullets followed, and the Gordanian fell into a pool of it's own blood.

Guardian looked up to see a burly man in a white shirt with rolled up sleeves and brown suspenders remove a
cigar from his mouth to blow the smoke from the barrel of his tommy gun. "Yeah, he does." Dan Turpin said
before replacing the cigar in his mouth.

===============================================================

A Khund warrior marched along, firing a futuristic-looking but essentially primitive slugthrower with highly
explosive bullets at all targets in sight. Oberon held on to it's boot with one hand, and pounded at it's knee with
his other. The Khund paused for a minute and stared at Oberon. "How amusing." The Khund's lips twisted into a sinister smile.

"Oh yeah?!" Oberon sneered. "You won't think so after…" Violently, the Khund raised his leg, sending Oberon spiraling into the air. As he arced down, Oberon yelped and flailed his arms. Just before he slammed into the pavement, a green glove caught his shirt collar.

"Hey, ugly!" Shilo Norman, a.k.a. Mister Miracle, called out as he clutched Oberon. "Pick on somebody your
own size!"

Oberon's face went red as Shilo set him down on the ground. "Did you HAVE to say that?!"

"Uh, I mean…" Mister Miracle stammered, then fired a power blast at the Khund, knocking it to the floor.
"That's what I mean!"

"And this is what we mean, Earther!" Another Khund, flanked by two of his fellows and a Gordanian, raised their weapons to open fire on Shilo and Oberon. Suddenly, the weapons' tips clunked to the ground, cut away by Zauriel. The angel descended and blasted away the alien warriors with a mighty sonic cry.

Mister Miracle let out a low whistle in admiration of Zauriel's attack. "Nice moves, man."

Zauriel stared at Mister Miracle. "I thought you were on Apokolips?"

"Huh?" Shilo said.

"You're thinking of Scott." Oberon piped up.

"This man isn't Scott Free?"

"Shilo Norman, Super Trouble, at your service." Shilo shook Zauriel's hand.

"Ahhh…yes, some years ago you were a League associate. And this must be Oberon?"

Oberon nodded. "You got it, wings. You're Zauriel, right?"

"Yes. I wish we could get to know each other better, but I've been fighting these things for hours and there seems to be no end in sight. I could use a hand or two…"

Without hesitation, Shilo said "You've got it". Then, he turned and looked at Oberon. "But where's Ted?"

"Last I saw, the cops loaded him and a lot of other people into an armoured car heading out of the city. They're trying to get everyone they can to safety."

"He should be fine then." Shilo stared out at the Gordanian and Khund forces, locked in combat with the police. "All right, guys. Let's get 'em!"

===============================================================

Turpin strode up to Guardian and offered his hand. Guardian grasped it, pulled himself up, and stood, vigilantly
watching for any further attacks. "Thanks for the assist, Commish."

"No prob. Now that you super muk-muks are on the scene, you think you can lend us a hand? There's a party
goin' down on the East Side that makes this look like a Shirley Temple song-and-dance routine."

"Of cou-" Guardian felt the hairs on the back end of his neck prickle and instinctively pushed Turpin and himself down. A crimson blast went floating past them, hitting a trendy art gallery that was a few feet behind. Guardian and Turpin ran frantically, desperately trying to avoid the falling rubble that followed the destruction of the gallery. Just as they were about to be crushed, the bricks began floating upward. Like missiles, the rubble smashed into the fleet overhead, blowing up several ships. Turpin and Guardian lifted their heads. Superboy was floating above them, arms folded across his chest. "Just thought you could use a hand."

"If those powers of yours keep on developing the way they have been, kid, we can all sit at home while you take care of the next invasion." Guardian chuckled.

Turpin coughed impatiently. "As you were saying, Guardian?"

"We'd be happy to help you, Commissioner. Wouldn't we, Superboy?"

Superboy descended, landing next to Guardian and Turpin. "At your service. What's up?"

"Our boys on the East Side and some of Luthor's flunkies are gettin' murdered by these creeps. One of you
superguys could turn the tide."

"I'm on it." Superboy said.

"Well, now that you're on the case, Little Blue, how about you help us mop up the rest of these pug-uglies here, Guardian?"

"Be my pleasure. Besides," Guardian added "There's some friends of ours who are hiding in this area that I need to catch up with when we get rid of the invaders."

Superboy hovered back into the sky "Just one last thing, Commissioner…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't call me Little Blue." With that, Superboy launched himself into the air like a rocket.

===============================================================

The sleek, silver form of the Whiz Wagon skimmed, like a bullet, slightly above the West River towards Hob's
Bay. Seconds after leaving the Pelham district, the Newsboy Legion was already at the Suicide Slum, thanks to
the Wagon's powerful magnetic engines. The Whiz Wagon slid to a stop at a run-down pier. Carefully, the
Legionnaires walked onto the pier, wary that it might collapse at any second under their combined weight. Big
Words paused and fiddled with a remote control unit. Domed windows closed over the Whiz Wagon's canopies, and the fantastic transport began to descend. "Leaving the Whiz Wagon a few fathoms underwater encased in a force-field is hardly the ideal solution to the question of where we should park it, but it appears to be the only viable one."

"Just don't lose the control unit." Tommy said, holding a sack filled with food stores from the Wagon as he made his way up the pier.

"Don't sweat it, boss man. If he does, I'll get the ol' Wagon to the surface." Flip proclaimed proudly.

Tommy smiled. "I'm sure you could, Flipper, but let's hope that it doesn't come to that."

"Good thing the pier don't seem to rate much to these bug-eyed monsters. If it did, I bet it'd be toast." Gabby
observed.

Big Words concurred. "From all of the blocked tunnels and destroyed bridges we saw on the way here, the
extraterrestrials have done an exemplary job at isolating each individual section of the city from the others."

Scrapper slammed his fist into his open palm. "Yeah, well I'm gonna do an extramentary job at clobberin' 'em!"

The five boys heard a woman scream in the distance. "Oh-oh." Gabby said. "Sounds like a dame is in need of our chivalrous assistance!" Quickly, they ran to where they had heard the scream come from. They found about a half-dozen disreputable-looking men firing advanced weapons at a horde of Gordanians and Khunds…and a blonde-haired woman in jeans and a T-shirt dispatching invaders with rapid-fire martial arts moves and accompanying battle cries. Embarrassed, the Newsboy Legion realised that what they heard was not a woman in trouble, but rather a woman who was quite capably breaking alien bones.

"We're never going to live this one down, are we?" Gabby asked sheepishly.

Tommy smirked. "Not for a moment."

Scrapper was overjoyed by the battle around him. "All right! Bums ta clobba!" he yelled, charging at the invaders with his fists raised.

"Scrapper! Wait!" Tommy cried as his friend punched at a Gordanian's knee. It was too late.

"Ah well" Flip shrugged "If you can't beat 'em…" Flip rushed forward and jumped up onto the back of the same Gordanian Scrapper was fighting, kicking it's legs with his flippered feet.

"Wait up, guys! C'mon, wait up for me!" Gabby too joined the battle, picking up small pieces of gravel from the pavement and lobbing them at a Khund.

Tommy wearily set the sack down next to his feet. "Looks like there goes our plan to really help people. All they want to do is brawl, like those thugs over there."

"Do not feel dejected, Tommy. Our colleagues have provided us with a most timely distraction." Big Words said. "Observe: Flip, Scrapper, and Gabby have pushed those two extraterrestrial infantrymen to one side, while the ruffians and the fair lady continue to fight their foes on the other. We can run in-between both battles towards the Hob's Bay Mission."

"By gum, you're right!" Tommy picked up the sack again. "C'mon! Let's get through right now, before it's too
late!"

===============================================================

Bernadeth looked out from the window of the second floor of her run-down two-floor Armagetto flat to see a
figure dressed in unwieldy armour wrapped in a complex series of golden tubes streak over the slum. From out of the folds of her green cloak, she drew a large Fahren-knife.

"Patience, my dear…patience." A white-robed figure with a severely scarred face stepped forward and gently
placed his hand on her arm.

Grudgingly, Bernadeth lowered her weapon. "That has to be Orion. Nobody else has a damnable Astro-Harness like his." Bernadeth's eyes smoldered with a fury more intense than the most violent supernova.

"And although I found the sweetest revenge in convincing that clod that he had murdered me, I know you still
wish retribution upon him for murdering your beloved brother and my good friend, DeSaad. However, our
benefactor wishes for us to wait for her approval before attacking. And after all Forager has done for us, the very least we can do is respect her wishes, correct?"

"Your silvered tongue still serves you well, Godfrey. Although," Bernadeth added "I feel that she has used us
more than helped us. After all, is it not our spy Virman Vundabar she receives all of her information from? Is it
not our Parademons that fight on her behalf here on Apokolips? And what do we have to show for it? Just this
hovel."

"Ah," Glorious Godfrey placed his index finger on his lip. "You would seem to have a point. However, by the
mere act of coming into contact with us, she has given us the key to her powers. Forager is precisely the way
Orion once was. She's very powerful on the outside, but a scared and lonely child on the inside."

"Just the type a revelationist like you excels at manipulating, eh?"

Glorious Godfrey nodded, his eyes bright. "And by the time she has killed Orion, I shall be able to use her as a
puppet and rule from behind the scenes."

Bernadeth regarded her partner skeptically. "You will rule from behind the scenes?"

Godfrey couldn't help but beam at Bernadeth's question. It was diplomatic stand-offs like this that he found to be the greatest amusement life had to offer. "I meant we will rule from behind the scenes, of course."

Bernadeth smiled sardonically, indulging Godfrey in the game. "Of course."

===============================================================

Orion swept into one of the Fire Pits, flying in the face of flames that rose up to smash against his Infinity Armour. Although temporarily knocked off course by the ferocity of the fiery burst, Orion persevered and swooped straight down into the Infinity Pit. His body shook and shuddered and his Infinity Armour smoldered and smoked as he dove through the inferno. For an agonizing stretch of time- Orion's fevered mind had no idea how long- he dove deeper and deeper into Apokolips' core.

Then, he passed out.

Orion awoke to find himself on the floor of a cavernous chamber of snow and ice, stripped of his glider. His
faceplate was frosted and his bones were chilled. He raised his gloved fingers to the plate, scratching away at the frost. Before him, he saw two stone-faced Protonoids in bulkier models of Infinity Armour standing on the sides of a path of gold that led to a throne of ice. On the throne sat a woman dressed in green and black, with the wrinkled face of an old crone. "So, Lord Orion enters my realm at last." She stood and walked towards the fallen Orion.

"Who are you? What do you know of me?"

"I know much of you, thanks to your servants here." The crone gestured to the two Protonoids. "As for my
identity…I am a goddess. One that is virtually forgotten, yet still wields great power over the destiny of this world you call Apokolips. I am Hel, goddess of the dishonoured dead, and you are in my realm…Niflheim."

"No!" Orion pushed himself up with his arm. "The Old Gods are but a myth…a legend!"

"I am no myth, Orion." Hel paced back and forth in front of him. "Although I can no longer claim the souls of
gods, because none truly believe in me any longer, you came here of your own free will. And once anyone- god or man- enters Niflhiem…they cannot leave…"

---

FDC Presents

New Gods #23: "Lousy Fanfic"

Chronicled By: "Galactic" Gregg Allinson

Innovated By: Jack "King" Kirby

Overseen By: "Mighty Miry" Clay Arceneaux

The Bogeyman Who Scares Us All The Days of Our Lives: "Rampagin’" Ralph Angelo

Cold Armageddon Plot By: "Rampagin’" Ralph Angelo

---

Write to

Hey Godguys and Godgals! It’s an exciting time in the fantastic F-DC bullpen because we’re knee-deep in the
biggest thing ever to hit this group: a magical mega-crossover! It’s called COLD ARMAGEDDON, and so far
it’s effected several of our red-hot titles, including SUPERMAN, DOOM PATROL, SUPERGIRL, CAPTAIN COMET, and many others! This issue and the next represent the New Gods leg of the crossover. And what better way to re-introduce the magnificent MISTER MIRACLE, SHILO NORMAN and his beloved sidekick, the outrageous OBERON into the saga than to have him face the machinations of Neron and Mongul on Earth along with some stupendous special guest stars? As you’ve also probably guessed, Neron’s schemes will figure very heavily in the future of this humble little tale, so keep an eye on him!

We’ve finally gotten our first letter! Granted, it’s only one, but it’s more than enough to make this weary writer a happy camper. Let’s gather around the campfire and listen to the wise words of a gallivanting gentleman known as William, commenting on #22:

"Great issue! Keep up the good work! Nice to see some New Gods stuff since Simonson is taking forever to
write the new Orion series."

Thank you very much, William! Now don’t go thinking that I’ll be handing these out like candy or anything, folks, but for being the first person to write to Write to the Source, I hereby confer upon you the title of Gallant Grand Godguy, which is sure to gain you the admiration and envy of your friends and enemies alike! March forth with your head held high, good Gallant Grand Godguy William!

Additionally, GOULISH GARY DRESLINSKI, who I mentioned in last issue’s WTTS, gave that tumultuous
tale a rave review in the new issue of HEROES, which can be found at: http://zap.to/heroes Your friend and
humble narrator greatly appreciates this!

Sadly, we’ve had no takers on the contest and I’m calling it off. For anyone interested, the questions that were
asked about issue #21 were:

1.What specific issue of what Jack Kirby penciled series is the military code Orion authorizes for Scott a
reference to?

Answer: Military code 1SK-CA was a reference to CAPTAIN AMERICA COMICS #1

2) Who wrote the issue of the title in question?

Answer: Joe Simon

And one last quick little bit of news: JEREMY KIRBY, Jack’s grandson and a heck of a nice guy, is writing and releasing a new three-part CAPTAIN VICTORY series next spring complete with previously unseen Kirby art! For those of you not in the know, CAPTAIN VICTORY was Jack’s unofficial continuation of the FOURTH WORLD saga, starring a character who many fans suspect is a descendant of Orion’s! For more information, as well as some excellent rare Kirby stories, art, and merchandise, hop on over to http://www.kingkirby.com

---

Next issue: Is Orion dead? What will Superboy find on the East Side? Where’s Ambush Bug? What other
astonishing guest stars will appear? All this and more in the concluding part of the New Gods Cold Armageddon two-parter…to be released in two to three weeks! Yes, that’s right! Less than a month ‘til next issue…hey, gotta make up for that four-month gap somehow, don’t I…?

---

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! You were thinking of logging off, weren’t you? Well don’t! Not unless you don’t
want to get in on the ground floor of the most sensational new back-up series to hit Faux-DC! For your
enjoyment, your friend and humble narrator now proudly presents…

The Metron Chronicles

Prologue: "The Sound of Loneliness"

By "Galactic" Gregg Allinson

Based on characters created by: Jack "King" Kirby

Editor-in-Chief: "Mighty Miry" Clay Arceneaux

Executive Editor: "Rampagin’" Ralph Angelo

---

Mobius Chair Chronolog Record: Time: July 4th, 1981 AD Spatial Location: New York City, Earth, Universe
17

"You’re not a killer, if you kill for Darkseid!" a dead-eyed Superman shouted.

"You’re not a liar, if you lie for Darkseid!" Batman cried out, his spirit broken.

"You’re not a warrior, if you make war for Darkseid!" Wonder Woman screamed, her face drained of all life.

"Anti-Life is the way! Anti-Life will give you the answer!" Lightray yelled as he walked in mechanical precision.

The four Anti-Life zombies marched through New York under a sky darkened by thousands of winged, scaly
Parademons flying overhead. They heaved a throne constructed from the bones of The Flash, Green Lantern,
Firestorm, Hawkman, and Green Arrow high above them. On the throne sat their master, Darkseid, who
impassively surveyed the mindless masses of humans and aliens that chanted the praises of Anti-Life. Darkseid
was clothed, as always, in his blue helmet, boots, and purple tunic. Affixed to his blue belt was a gilded sword,
sheathed in an ornate leather and gold scabbard. Around his neck was a blue cape, clasped to his neck by a
small pin in the shape of a demon’s skull. To Darkseid’s rear, several members of conquered races including
Rannians, Earthlings, and New Genesisians ignored the strain of carrying Kalibak, Jezebelle, and DeSaad in a
large open-air theatre box comprised of the remains of the other members of the Justice League of America.
Their attention was completely focused on worshipping Darkseid along with the rest of the planet. Jezebelle, an
ally of the New Gods until her will was sapped by the Anti-Life Equation, wrapped her arms tightly around
Kalibak’s bare leg. Only the sheerest fabric prevented her blue-skinned body from touching his flesh. Kalibak
appeared to enjoy the parade far more than his father did, waving his brutish hands in the air and reveling in the
worshipful admiration of the conquered beings. DeSaad looked out from his purple robe and smirked as he
talked to Kalibak. "Just think of it, sweet prince. All of these rodents, ours to do with whatever we please."

"You may find pleasure in sadism, friend, but mine is found in battle hotly fought. I cannot wait until the Hunt
begins."

"Well then, perhaps your pet…" DeSaad leered at Jezebelle. In response, the Anti-Life thrall raised her head and burned his hand with twin optic blasts of energy. Kalibak chortled as DeSaad screamed, waving his hand in a futile effort to shake the pain from it. "Just because Jezebelle is mine does not mean that her eyes are no longer fiery, DeSaad. You would do well not to attempt to torture her."

Darkseid heard the chattering between his son and his best friend, but paid it little attention. His procession was
almost at its end, and the sweetest moment in his life was at hand.

Carefully, Superman, Batman, Lightray, and Wonder Woman maneuvered Darkseid and his throne up the stairs that led into what was the building that housed general assembly of the United Nations, much to the delight of those who lined the walkway. Kalibak and DeSaad’s box was also escorted into the building.

Gently, Darkseid’s throne was set down behind the dais where the secretary general should have been. Behind
him, a sign representing the Earth encircled by olive branches, which acted as the official emblem of the UN, was cracked in two, hanging limply from the wall. DeSaad, Kalibak, and Jezebelle were set down next to Darkseid, and together, they rose. Darkseid’s three minions sat at the dais, while he paced the main stage, eliciting loud applause from all in the auditorium. All, that is, except one.

On the right side of the stage, Orion, in his torn red and yellow New Genesis uniform, raised his head to stare at his true father. His arms and legs were encased in metal shackles, while his body was stretched out on a circular frame.

Darkseid silenced the applause simply by raising his hand, ignoring Orion completely. "Bring the accused
forward." his voice rumbled.

From the left, two Parademons dragged an old man in tattered robes and leg and arm irons onto the stage. They tossed him on the ground before their ruler, then left. Darkseid regarded the elderly one with contempt, then turned to face the audience.

"My lords, ladies, and gentlemen. This wretched creature you see before you is Izaya the Inheritor, also known
as the Highfather of New Genesis. He stands accused of the highest crimes against Anti-Life, including but not
limited to: celebration of life and free will, pacifism, and opposition to the forces of Anti-Life. How plead you,
Izaya? Guilty, or…" Darkseid’s lips peeled back, revealing a ghoulish grin "Guilty?"

Izaya looked up at Darkseid defiantly "Not guilty."

Shocked gasps and chattering raced through the assembly. Orion laughed bitterly, proud that Izaya had not
succumbed to despair.

"Silence! Silence!" Darkseid roared. He pointed to Orion and said "That goes for you too, pup. Now…"
Darkseid rubbed his chin "Now that you have plead guilty to these charges, I sentence you to execution. You
have thirty seconds to state any last words you may have."

"I love you, Avia." Darkseid placed his foot on Izaya’s back, forcing the Highfather’s face to the ground. "I love you, Scott." Izaya continued, as Darkseid pulled his sword from his sheathe and raised it over his head. "I love you, Ori…" Darkseid bought the sword down and Izaya’s head tumbled from his body. Darkseid’s subjects stood and clapped, chanting his name.

"Coward!" Orion shouted over the din. "Have you not even the common courtesy to grant a condemned man his last words?!"

Darkseid ignored Orion’s cries as he waved his hand up into the air with a formal flourish. "I now formally
declare myself Ruler of the Universe" Amidst the praises of Darkseid that the audience sang, he turned to face
DeSaad. "Let the Hunt begin."

DeSaad leaned towards Kalibak and said "Now’s your moment to shine." DeSaad punched a few buttons on a control unit on his belt, releasing the manacles that held Orion.

"What?" A bewildered Orion asked as he rubbed his wrists.

Darkseid sheathed his sword. "You are the last being in all of time and space who is not mine, Orion. Your goal is simple: survive. Best of luck, my son." With those words, the living mass in the UN building turned from
fawning admirers of Darkseid into a gang driven by bloodlust, led by Kalibak. Instinctively, Orion raised his
hands skyward, hoping that the Astro-Force dampeners that had held him at bay in DeSaad’s restraints were not in effect. They were not. "Of course," he thought grimly. "Darkseid wants my death to be a challenge. That’s why he was ‘gracious’ enough to let me retain mastery over the Astro-Force". Orion punched a hole in the wall and flew away, Thanagarian Hawkmen, former Justice Leaguers, and Parademons on his tail. Higher and higher he flew…until he reached a wall of Parademons.

Orion stopped dead in his tracks, caught between two legions of Darkseid’s fiercest warriors. "Orion" he heard a voice call. It was cold, aloof, but familiar. Orion turned to see a phantomlike Metron behind him. A Boom Tube suddenly appeared beside Metron, it’s loud, abrupt materialization startling Orion’s pursuers for a moment. "Get in the Boom Tube, Orion!"

The last time Orion had seen Metron, the academic had been turned into an immobile Promethean Giant asteroid after his failed attempt to pierce the Source. Orion had no idea if what he saw was a hallucination or one of Darkseid’s tricks, but in either case, it was offering him a chance at escape. "I could fight my way past these monsters…but…" Orion thought "I am the last hope for freedom in the universe. I must be more careful from now on." Quickly, Orion soared into the Boom Tube, which thundered into nothingness a moment later. Metron vanished also, leaving Superman, Wonder Woman, the Hawkmen, and the Parademons to their frenzied screams of frustration.

Next installment: Metron’s mission revealed!